I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it. You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. Well-armed. ? Hilarious Valentine's Joke: How Did the Orca Pop the Question? Why didn't the melons get married? But hilarious jokes never go out of style. 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes that will make you laugh Make your friends and family cringe with these god-awful jokes By Finlay Greig 17th Jun 2020,. * No, you didn't. What's your point? You know we always have the funniest jokes up our sleeve, whether youre searching for short jokes, corny jokes, or even bad jokes you cant help but chuckle at. They did unspeakable things to me. Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Its important to remember that not everyone wants to engage in constructive dialogue, and sometimes the best course of action is to ignore the comment and move on. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { What are the alternatives for "I was going to ask you"? Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. I can totally keep secrets. Knock Knock! 86 Funny Why Did The Jokes for Kids 2022 | Beano.com Three words to ruin a mans ego? So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists, How To Channel Main Character Energy Like Daisy Jones & The Six. 16. Sorry, I'm still working on it. So they don't peel. Why were they called the Dark Ages? On June 23rd, 2011, Neogaf [6] user NIN90 . A pouch potato. I know because they told me. Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. 10. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. Keep the tip. "What's the good news?". What do you call a fake noodle? While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. Aye matey. Because they're really good at it. But that's not all. Knock Knock! Its a win-win! Explanation: A Buddhist whos one with everything is connected to the universe. Hey! Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. Last Updated: June 16th 2022. Your wife will always blow your bonus! It all depends on you and the situation. What's Forrest Gump's email password? Traffic jam. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Jokes for Kids: 130+ of the Best Kid Jokes on the Web - EverythingMom 20. Manage Settings So what's the best way to get your child to tap into their funny side? Whos there? A receding hare line. If you're here, who's running hell? A Maybe. After five years your job will still suck. How did you quit smoking? Because the P is silent! What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Because theyre used to eating nuts. Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? What jokes similar to the "when did i ask joke"? - reddit Beef strokin off. Funny responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like at a party or during a conversation with friends. They both have an ability to misfire. See you next month. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! Cause your face looks kind of funky. Khanada Lakes on Twitter: "WhoCares WhenDid I ask WhyAre you This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. And funny in a way that like, opens your mind up even," says comedian Sean Patton. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. Privacy Policy. Whats red and moves up and down? Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. 30. They just pick things up as they go along. She drops her pants and says, My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!, A boy says to a girl, So, sex at my place? Yeah! Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks were making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Because they're very good at it. What is the square root of 69? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. What did one hat say to the other? Hes been going through some shit. You boil the hell out of it. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. What did the alien say to the flower bed? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. A Master Baiter. Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. Hear that? What did prehistoric animals get instead of blisters? []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? . Robin. Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. 3. Not all men are annoying. Why don't male ants sink? I used to be addicted to soap. Between you and me, something smells. By the CBC Kids team August 15, 2017 | Last Updated April 08, 2022. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! - Facebook Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards. How did the hipster burn his mouth? What's E.T. Oh, that? sniffs the castaway. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. 9. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" well, almost never! Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. Two peanuts were walking down the street. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Also if I asked you wouldn't be talking. Between you and me, something smells. 2. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". When I was in junior high, the girls in my class would laugh at me or ask questions designed to embarrass me. This one is funny because it can be used to make the question asker seem like they are crazy or have a bad memory and already has forgotten that they did in fact ask you. This one is funny because it implies that you werent paying attention to the question asker at all and didnt even realize they were talking to you when they asked did I ask you?. You guys didn't like it. Did you hear the rumor about butter? How do you get a nun pregnant? Between you and me, something smells. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? The brunette smells it and says it smells like cum. Answer: A Diamond Question: What did the cowboy say went he went into the car showroom in Germany? What do you get from a pampered cow? if( 'moc.enilnoefiltseb' !== location.hostname.split('').reverse().join('') ) { "Whaddya mean?" Why do bees have sticky hair? 27 Best Replies To "Did I Ask You?" (Funny & Clever) I said you look fat in those pants. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? Usually, they know they didnt. How do you throw a space party? What did the left eye say to the right eye? Walking takes too long. Never mind, it's over your head. A limbo champ walks into a bar. It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. A cheese factory exploded in France. Why do people make end-of-the-world jokes like theres no tomorrow? A clever response shows that you are quick on your feet can be really smart. Article continues below advertisement. A little horse. Whats long, hard and erects stuff? You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. Person 1: Knock-knock. That's it for now! 35. Waiter Who? The infantry. Descartes replies, I think not and promptly disappears. Share the best GIFs now >>> All it was doing was gathering dust! 49. The bear shrugged. We recommend our users to update the browser. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. Approximately one GB. A cherry float. 45 lbs. 70 Hilariously Funny Jokes - Absolutely Hilarious Jokes to Tell Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? She gave me an Australian kiss. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. 2022 Galvanized Media. Find out here! "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. He kept leaving little messages around the house. 7 Up in cider. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Robin who? It shut all my friends up! I dont know how to do it. Then why are you still talking? Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Whats the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. You planet. It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. Dont worry, said the doc. What do you call a guy with a small dick? "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Ate something. Its To Whom. 31 Jokes About Work That'll Make Even Your Boss Laugh - Distractify But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Cookie Notice Its the people I tell them to who cant. Knock Knock! Waiter if I get my hands on you! But sometimes they even outdo us adults. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? To get to the other side. No? What's the best thing about Switzerland? 14. Why don't math majors throw house parties? ", Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Where do young trees go to learn? Whos there? He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" A buccaneer. 32 Savage Comebacks for "Who Asked", "Did I Ask", "Nobody Asked," etc Oh, no. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? Well, they're not laughing now! What do you call a deaf gynecologist? Not to mention, it can also keep the kids busy while you're busy. Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. "That . The batroom. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? Well-armed. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Explanation: A hyperbole is an exaggerated claimkinda like this joke. Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family. Which will often come across very rudely. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . Do you love hearing jokes? Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. Because he neverlands. Explanation: Even on an island of one, religion can be a tricky issue. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. Whats even better than winning the Special Olympics? What do you call an expert fisherman? 64 What Did The. He loses. If only theyd come around andtake him off my hands. If your sense of humor tends to lean toward the goofy side of things, don't be ashamed. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. Knock-Knock Jokes. A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . 29. There's a time and a place for well-crafted, sophisticated, complex jokes that you have to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get. There is the attention you were looking for. I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Person . The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Good Comebacks for Who Asked or Did I Ask? Question and Answer Jokes - Jokes - Jilljuck If at first you dont succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Wellness Habits + Accountability partner on Instagram: "There's kind of Cereal pleasure to meet you! Theyre clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. Shes going to eat me! Im not sure; I was born with them.. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Are you an adult? Elementree school. Strong people dont put others down. Dont assume thats not a major incentive. 6. What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. They're his watch dogs. 12. Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there. No harm in telling the truth, you werent asked and this response is extra clever because it doesnt give the question asker the reaction from you that they were looking for. Buy any 10 and get 50% off. A deodor-ant. A nervous wreck. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. Its the sound of you not talkingfor once. 2. That really hurt!" the first friend exclaims. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? If this made you giggle, youll love these food jokes. I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Right where you left it. Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? } else { A little horse. They've kept in touch after all these years. I decided to start smoking only after sex. What did 345. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Da brie was everywhere. Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any. 19. And do you love, well, jokes? What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Its the same as a French kiss, but down under. A liar. When did you take a joke too far, and what happened? Where do you find a cow with no legs? Would you rather have a million bucks, or [insert name]s head full of nickels? There were two goldfish in a tank. What's a foot long and slippery? Why do oranges wear sunscreen? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What's black and white and goes round and round? Why did the candle quit his job? 11. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. Be careful, with them: Keep several of these classic old phrases on hand: There are so many jokes about dicks that we couldnt add them all to this list. When When When When When. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. Robin you, now hand over the cash. Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. An impasta. (Its three.). How do you organize a space party? Ouch! Have fun with some of these. Wheeeee! Call and tell her about it. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? These classic What did? Why was six afraid of seven? The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. What do a guy and a car have in common? What's the best-smelling insect? After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Explanation: The setup of the joke calls for a To who? response, in which To is standing in for a person. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? Urban Dictionary: When did I ask? 9. What you can ask Google Assistant - Google Assistant Help READ THIS NEXT:80 Corny Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At. If you know of some funny questions and Cortana replies that are not on the list, please share them in the comments section below. Anal makes your hole weak. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. 47. This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Dont worryweve explained each one, so you can still wow em with your humor and smarts. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. Because they use a honeycomb. A receding hare-line. Next time someone asks you, "who asked," or "did I ask" use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Never mind, its too long., Two goldfish are in a tank. In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. Whats warm, wet, and pink? "Catch up!". In his sleevies. How is life like a penis? Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? What did the snail who was riding on the turtle's back say? Got a PS5 for my little brother. Not being a retard. What's the best smelling insect? What did the full glass say to the empty glass? Some are dead. History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At - We Are Teachers When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. 50 funny, easy jokes for kids to learn and tell - Care.com Resources What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? They all are standing there awkwardly until one of them spots a stain on the carpet. By Sergios Rotar Best priest jokes ever - Unijokes.com - 75 Priest jokes Lick-a-lotta-puss. Dont make me come in there! About. He was in a jam. Knock knock. The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. 43. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? Why do vegetarians give good head? 2. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Low flying airplane noises! Tap To Copy. 50 Funny Valentine's Day Jokes for Kids and Adults - Parade Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? What do you call a group of rabbits backing up? Just because you didnt ask doesnt mean you didnt need to be told. When do we want them? Whats 72? I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. Close the door, I'm dressing. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. A meltdown. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . You think youre funny, but youre snot!. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. With a little creativity and quick thinking, you can defuse the who asked bomb and keep the conversation going. The third guy ducks. He's all right now. Because every play has a cast. There's no menuyou get what you deserve. Why don't chickens play baseball? Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? 22. Confused by some of these clever jokes? They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball? 33. Me! This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them.